so I did it, I'm moving to livejournal. i am now at this website. It's just got a ton of cool options I like about it. It's like discovering blogging all over again.
For a while, I used to think that I am very different than I was in high school, and I realized that's not completely the case. It's just that I think I am more aware of who I am and what I want now, and that doesn't mean I am a completely different person with different interests than I was back then, it just means that my acknowledged goals and problems are different.
Anyway, so I used to have this thing against Radiohead, and it was completely because they got so much hype, and I wasn't really into their type of music at the time. You know how different music touches you at different times in your life? Well, now I am into Radiohead a lot more, especially Karma Police. I love that song so much, I mean, Thom Yorke may not always be coherent, but there's just so much emotion running through his voice that you understand what the song is about, and if you don't, well, the song is what you make of it, not what the singer makes of it. That's what Michael Stipe says anyway, and he seems like a cool enough guy, so I'll take that and run with it.
i really don't have anything to fill you in on today, except that I do have to wonder why my comments page is like, "Rachel's world is blue" as the title. oh, well. I've been thinking of switching to livejournal, as all of my nondebate friends except for erin use it, and I think the whole interconnectedness of membernames and such is good, but I really need more of an incentive than that.
so one of the habits I have that is really bad is that when I decide that something is interesting, or I want to know more about it, or decide I want to do something, I get fixated on it. And if I actually do something about it during that time, many times I don't know the consequences of what I am doing. Then later I panic about it, and that's when I have to make the decision: Is it worth it or not?
Case in point (tho certainly not the only topic on which I am doing the previously mentioned cycle) is my new job. For months all I have thought about is how exciting it will be, and life changing, and etc, and all of a sudden, this morning, as I sat on my sunburned ass, I just began to think over and over about the worst case scenario of what could happen, about how I could be completely isolated and depressed and lonely, and hate my job; and then I thought of the best case scenario of living in DC, how i could get of my ass and get a great job, and etc, etc, and have everything turn out great, and I needed someone to tell me after I mentioned all my gripes that I wasn't comparing things properly, that I wasn't looking at one scenario the same as another. I get all hysterical over stuff because of a new fixation, and I just need someone to slap me and be like, STOP IT!!!!
I rarely make an unabashedly positive post, I think that this one is going to be
This weekend has just been fantastic. let's review:
Friday: After work, planned a quiet night at home, ended up at home anything but quiet. First of all, we went to the british store, picked up some cloves and the girls got some cigars, and then we went home to have some red wine. We ended up having 4 bottles, and in the process we talked about some of the problems that I've been confronting lately personally, and it was great to get some feedback on it. It was just the best evening of talking I had in a while. Unfortunately, there was too much red wine involved. I woke up the next morning to realize I had thrown up on my alarm clock! (ewww. i think i am going to have to use my cell phone as alarm for the next few weeks.
Saturday woke up to confront my alarm clock, also had to go to laundromat for comforter for similar reason. Basically a slow day of driving around in a car and getting over being hungover. Then we went to Super H Mart and got some asian food. mmmm, tho mostly I bough snacks and stuff.
Sunday: OCEAN CITY with friends. I am SOOOO sunburned, it's horrible! At the same time tho, today was the most worry free day i think I've had in months, and on the way home I was afraid I had burst that bubble, but in the end all was most excellent. I realize that the people in that car, even if I don't keep in contact over the years, will always be with a part of me, and I'll always remember them between good times and bad, because I have a lot of connections with them that aren't just through common experience, but emotional, and that stays with you after the immediate reason for friendship is over. Sorry I can't go any deeper, but this weekend was great not because of the zany experiences (though going to OC is zany) but because I just remembered all over again why friendship is what it is. I wish that wasn't so sappy sounding, but...agh. Let's just leave it as is.
its always odd when you figure out that the reason you love some of the songs that are your favorites, because I am listening to some of my favorite cds right now, and I've just realized there is a common theme running through about 4 songs, and i think I know why that theme is relevant. You want to know, you say? Ha, well, I'll never tell you, because as anyone who knows me well knows, they may know me well but they don't know specific incidents because I don't tell them to people, as I am a pretty private person. Talked about this with Jeni the other night.
belle and sebastian are, once again, rocking my world, albiet quietly and in a rather introverted manner. if i could recommend two of the tracks from the album i am listening to, they would definitely be "You're Just a Baby" and "I Don't Love Anyone"
ok, so this morning, after i come in late for work, I get a call on my cell phone from some 703 number. I've been getting a lot of Comcast telemarketers coming from 703 numbers I don't know, so I expected a telemarketer. Sure enough, the guy can't pronounce my name right and stumbles over it! I'm very rude to the guy, like "yeah, this is the person you want to talk to, hello? hello?" and then I found out it was my Japanese teacher, who had called to clarify something he said the night before about the difference between ga and wa! man, I felt so embarrassed. I was like, "I'm so sorry I was so rude to you" explained the whole telemarketer thing, and he seemed to get it. i still felt stupid, tho.
