sniper is still freaking me out, but i have other things going on. Right now we are at the debate meeting, and I am at the lectern in the lecture hall. I love doing this, I feel like the professor. It's kinda cool. anyway, i skipped school today, and I applied for a job at this neat congressional forum thing. hopefully they'll give me a callback.
ok, i have to say, the sniper is freaking me out. today on the way home from work, i kept thinking ,"you know, he could be here!" i mean, its not enough to leave me frozen inside borders hiding, but its an unsettling feeling. Thank god i don't have a car, so i don't need to fill it up with gas.
ok, you want a _________ (activity that shall remain nameless) free blog? I love Dance Dance Revolution. It's sick. and I want the pads for home and i want to look like a retard, or at least the kid playing it in the sketchers commercial. hey, i have to buy a dvd player anyway, why not a ps2? more later, after work
ok, this is so embarrassing, especially after the post I made after American, but I'm sitting here, and I'm looking at the tournament list, and I see that I am 10th SOTY. I have to say, it is a cool feeling. So cool, it almost makes me want to go to a tournament I have a bad vibe about (nothing against maryland, its more just how i am feeling right now in general, which is a little sick and drained) in a shameless attempt to pick up soty points. but i won't do it. i won't. I am looking forward to hopkins tho. almost certainly will be there. we'll see about columbia, tho id like to go. finally, looks like ill be choosing between upenn, w&m, and bryn mawr. despite some bitter feelings over a very close round in quarters, upenn was the first place where i felt like i broke on my own merits, and ill be excited to go back. besides, i gots mad love for the tight link format. yes, I am a PM and I love tight link cases.
liz, thank you for being so aggressive. I appreciate that. I think when i catch you on another weekend besides this one, your positive feelings do rub off.
haha, the difference between my site and kate's is amazing, although not necessarily exemplary of a difference of opinion. I agree with her on everything she said. She just decided to focus on the positive, as opposed to my focusing on the negative. so cut and paste everything she said about american over here, for all the good feelings i felt at the tournament. i can say that the two times ive debated with kate are definitely two of my top 3 debating experiences (this doesn't include the friday parties, tho. that's a whole other list)
ok, so this weekend was odd, for multiple reasons. haha, everyone always says that, or maybe I just say it a lot. anyway, its true.
First, went to American this weekend. Inside of every debate round, I had a great time. I really enjoy the thrill that comes from public speaking. I guess its the exhibitionist in me, but I think out rounds are the best part because, i mean, you have so many people listening to you, and its just so cool. In rounds are fun too, especially when you have a grasp of what you are talking about.
The unfortunate part is that I just have such a debate hangover right now. I mean, its like I was getting a ride home with em and james, and emily just mentioned that she felt sad after tournaments now, and didn't know why. And I thought about it this weekend, and I think there is an important reason why it is that way. People don't go to tournaments to see people anymore; they go only to win or do well, and I freely admit I am part of that. its just frustrating because I sit there in GA, and talk is never of teams nearby hanging out during the week, or anything like that, and its all about how someone did, or how someone is pissed, or how this person got ripped off. There's just so much negativity, and there is such a lasting effect that comes from that. I mean, hell, my team's name this week is a takeoff of the fact that you know someone is going to get the results in email and they will say "well, of course kate and aaron finished second, eric was tab director and kate ran american last year." and that just makes me think fuck you, I'm better than you anyway. because I am. I think part of the fun of debating this weekend was sitting there and realizing that I had the potential to beat anyone there. I mean, there are definitely people in my year and others that I consider equals, and I don't know about a lot of stuff, and I'm sure more than one person will take this as a partial insult, but as an insecure person, its cool to sit there and just feel good about your abilities. but i mean, as much as andrew grossman looked like a heroin addicted speed freak most of the time, he makes a good point, no one ever says, they lost. I think novices do, they have a good time a lot of the time, and that's probably why. I mean, when it feels like a mismatch from the start, losing is only a learning experience; too many people (less so now for me, but as evidenced above the sentiment is still there.)are seeking validation from this. After this weekend, tho, that validation is not as big a deal for me; its almost like an insecurity orgasm. I could lose the rest of the year and not care less about my debating abilities.
In other news, I have a news flash for the nation: drugs are only cool when they aren't a big deal. shouting out drug use is the ultimate hipster cry for attention. i mean, it just irritates me when people shout out and announce their/someone else's drug use in an attempt to connect with others. At best, you get shallow friends, at worst, you look needy.
