you ever just completely freak out about something? yeah. yeah, that's exactly what i just did. it was totally not a big deal. let's just hope that the final goes the same way.
Today is most definitely not going to be good. I can feel it. First of all, I told myself last night that I would get up at 4 am this morning and study for my final tonight. Ummm, that's not exactly what happened. So I haven't studied for my final in linear algebra, which should make the test the ultimate bitch. Now, my work is going to have me do stuff that involves organizing things, which I hate doing because i always feel completely clueless. To top it off, its organizing whole rooms of shit, which is even worse. I mean, its my job, and i need to get paid, so im going to do it and try to do it without showing that i fucking hate this activity above most others (stuff involving bodily fluids would occupy the least desirable job list for me, personally), but that doesn't mean I actually have to enjoy it. Tonight I am going to bed as soon as i get home from my exam (which will be in the dead of night, because there are no buses that go to ballston from there, so I have to wait FOREVER!!!
I'm not in a good mood, in case you couldn't notice from the information above.
so when I turned in my JET application, I realized I didn't have much in the way of "Japanese" experience, so i wrote down that I read the books I saw in the apartments that related to Japan (from raiding Carissa's books). So now I have to read all of them. I first chose Mishima's "Temple of the Golden Pavilion". It's kind of a slow/fast book in that i feel naturally compelled to move quickly, but the writing itself makes me want to reread passages over and over to fully understand the implications of what the author is saying. The detail in describing the outcast narrarator and his acquaintances' relationship with beauty in its permanent and temporary forms, in how they despise and envy, yet adulate it is truly amazing. It is probably one of the best pieces of literature I have read.
Another good book: A Thousand Acres. Reading it, I feel like I have access to the part of my relatives' mind they don't ever let me see when I visit them. At so many points in that book I could think of incidents with my family eerily reminiscent to those in the book, especially considering the setting is almost exactly where all my relatives live. The people in this book are the essence of midwesterners, each one representing a different part of the collective.
