I just have to point out something I noticed this afternoon. I went to get some passport sized photos taken (yes, a frustrating process, and I look horrible in them), and the first try at taking the photo, I took my glasses off. In the picture, it is very obvious I am cross-eyed, so i did a redo. But this got me thinking. I saw that picture, and I felt very embarrassed about something I can't help at all. I think, along with incontinence, cross-eyed(ness?) is the thing it is easiest to make fun of with no repercussion. Think about it. If people make fun of the mentally challenged or people with cerebral palsy, unless they make an obvious show that they REALLY think retarded people are ok, a lot of people criticize them. No one (or at least no one I know) sends pictures on the internet of retarded people in forwards, saying, this person is obviously the ugliest person ever, let's make fun of them. But I've gotten at least two emails i can remember with attachments of cross-eyed people, and the email is pretty blatant about how horrible the people look. and you know what, they're right. It's not very attractive, I'm the first to admit. At the same time, people I think act like its something that can be fixed, and so that's why its ok to make fun of them. Well, if you are 2 yeah you can get it fixed, but not after that. I am stuck with this for the rest of my life because a doctor refused to believe my parents when they said I had a problem, and while I can go to surgery to cut out part of the muscle in my eye to make it look better, that effect only lasts for a few years, and then it starts wandering again. Eventually, I might not be able to fix this problem with glasses, and then I will just have to sit around and be my cross-eyed self when I get older. I hope I'm at least not incontinent when that happens, or else I might be one of those people in emails.
In short, its ok to look away from it, or be grossed out by it, I mean, its not very neat looking, but at the same time, don't make a big public spectacle about it to your friends afterwards. Unless you do that with retarded people too.
I am listening to this song right now, and every time after I listen to it, I think about how crappy it really is, but then when I hear it, that guy just has the description down really well (tho I am not catholic). All I think of is "Hello, I am Dieter, and welcome to Sprockets!"
Seriously, tho, I am still all about the lesbian punk rock. I'm just waiting for the cd to go on ebay. oh, and this one song by Primal Scream "Rocks"
well, feeling better. I'm really excited about my interview on Thursday about going to japan and all that. I mean, of course part of me is nervous about going to a country that I don't know the native language of at all, and has a culture so different from anything else, but I like to think that maybe it will help me in figuring out what i want to do with my life and what really matters. I mean, that's setting some pretty lofty goals for an event, asking for a life changing experience, but I know that right now I don't feel passionately about anything, but I have consistently for the past two months felt passionate about this experience, and I don't think I could make a successful (repeat, successful, not just ordinary) career out of something I don't feel passionate about, and I don't want to be ordinary, i want to succeed, whatever that means. I don't settle, and I won't
I need to go to diary-x or something like that and make up a livejournal (love crossing the brands, amuses me) so I can have a mopey blog that talks about mopey stuff that I don't have to show everyone, but that provides catharsis for me. I was just sitting here getting all mopey when I realize this happens every weekend about this time, and I can't quite explain why, but I don't think its pretty substantial in terms of long-term feelings, and so i would like to put these ramblings somewhere else where I can vomit them in writing and then leave the mess without any cleanup. I imagine you would appreciate that as well. Also, in case you haven't noticed, I love run on sentences, and semicolons, and commas, and overpunctuation. Its because when i was a little kid, I had a really hard time with punctuation, and then I realized that if i put commas in every possible situation, for the most part i could convince people it should be there, and they were just happy you put some punctuation mark after an independent clause, comma or period. Later I learned when these punctuation marks should actually be used, and in high school took long, 100 question tests in my spare time involving this arcana (anyone else who did JETS or WYSE out there?), but when I don't really care, the old habits come back.
