You know you get sick too often when you know what stage of an illness you are in
Right now I'm in the "popped ears" phase, which is when everything is mostly better, but your ears are all stuffed up, so everything sounds weird and you have that little pressure up there. An annoyance, nothing more.
So my parents are big super healthy freaky people; and it shows. I mean, you people have seen my dad, he's healthier at 44 than I may ever hope to be. Anyway, so he has a subscription to Men's Health, which is kind of a silly magazine, because it seems they constantly keep trying to relate working out and being healthy with having great sex (which I guess makes it kind of a cosmo for men. Which I have to say, I kinda agree with in that I think Cosmo appeals to the essence of women, and I think Men's Health, which doesn't really get itself tied in a knot over clothing and stuff, really appeals to basic stuff that guys want.), but they really do have the whole healthy lifestyle thing without going overboard down. Anyway, so there was this one article in there that talked about how horrible high fructose corn syrup is, and how it basically tricks your body into not feeling full even though you have eaten (which means you will eat more of the product) and turns itself into fat much more quickly than other sugars. So I decided, hey, I will try to cut down on eating products with high fructose corn syrup in them! Basically, this means not drinking soda, and when I am buying juice, I buy 100 percent juice, because drinks are where a lot of high fructose corn syrup goes (welll, candy too). We'll see how it all works out. I was going to try to exercise more, but I've had Hatchet SARS and so exercise has been a low priority.
ooh, ooh, so I had another dream last night, and i think i've had this one before, but I'm not sure. So first I find myself in this neighborhood full of stick/skeleton people that are also really short, and like this whole world they live in has this bone white stick/TimBurton look to it, really. And when I'm in it, I'm like them, then I leave and for a while I'm still like them, but I wonder if I'll still be alive if i look like that once I get back to the real world. Then I remember that I saw one of these things at liss and brandon's once, and it was alive, so i wasn't worried about that. nevertheless, i turned back into a person, but at the road crossing where that happens I see a bear. I cross the cross street and start walking up a hill (to go to my friend Jeremy's house) and the bear is across the street. It goes up on it's hind legs, and I start running a little, then slow down because I realize that when you run like that it only makes bears more likely to attack. I repeat this process a few times, then I just start running, and at first i think i am ok. then i see the bear is gaining on me fast and I'm slowing down because the hill is really steep, and I'm not trying to make it to jeremy's house anymore, but just the house closest to me, which is two doors over, and as I hop the guy's fence and make it to his door I realize I am about to get caught by the bear, and then the dream ended. Seriously, some weird stuff.
So I was really really sick last night. I mean, i had the oddest dream, and I mean, the symbolism is pretty obvious, but the random body temperature changes and forgetting i turned the a/c off on a hot evening really added to the effect. Basically, I just kept dreaming that my body was turning into something else, like a metamorphosis. I would wake up about every hour and find my sheets torn off, and I could tell I had been thrashing the whole time. Finally, I woke up around 7:30, and I don't know why, but I felt a lot better than i did the night before. Go fig. Considering how I've been thinking about my life and stuff lately, it wasn't particularly surprising.
Anyway, so I'm still a little sick. I haven't eaten more than one meal a day for the last 4 days, and I've fallen asleep around 8 and woken up around 1030 every time. It's quite an odd routine. I mean, I had to force myself to eat an apple last night because I felt so sick from not having had anything to eat. I was starting to exercise again, but I'm putting it off until I feel a little better and get over this horrible illness, which apparently i got from going to a hatchet party. shit.
Work? well, it's nice enough, I guess. I got a raise, but I really enjoy it as much as I always have (which isn't much, for those not in the know). Honestly, right now there's not much going on, just a lot of contemplation, frustration at work and a variety of other factors at work.Part of me keeps reminding myself that I'm only 20, but you know, if i go to japan by the time i come back ill be 22, and i'm sorry, but that's old. I know a lot of my friends are that age, but i just pretend they're all my age. hey, it works.
oh my god, i'm so sick. stupid hatchet party. and i don't think i want to go to japan anymore, tho i don't know if that's because I'm sick, or irrational, or what, but I realize i hate working in offices, and i hate working on boring academic stuff, and i want to work with people, and creative stuff.
Boredom like this hits a region only once every 2000 years
Yeah, people, I hate the whiny adolescent emo-blog as much as you do, sorry its been a little like that lately. However, with weather like what we got going on today, is it really that surprising? God, today has to be the most boring workday ever. Everyone is all quiet, and there isn't really any pressing deadline coming up, and so everything is just like meh. I mean, honestly, it's just given me more time to mope. The real highlight came when I got to go to lunch free because me and lolita were welcoming the new girl in. and get a load of this, i found out this morning that my boss is leaving at the end of the month. I mean, we found out through an email our boss' boss sent out on saturday. apparently she was going to tell us today and didn't know he had sent the email out. Craziness!!! All I've done today is think about what my life would be like if I had stayed in drama through all high school. I used to do all sorts of plays and stuff when I lived in FL, but when I moved to stl, there was no drama dept. there, so i switched to xtemp (yeah, odd, I know). If I had stayed in PC, there is a VERY good probability i would have stayed interested in acting and gone to college for broadcasting or drama, and all I've thought about today is if i would have been good at it, and enjoyed it, and maybe enjoy my work a little more than now. I think if i had, yeah, there's a good chance I would have really loved it and stuck with it, but there's also a decent chance i would have hated it more, especially if i were unsuccessful, because i think that maybe my creative side is weaker than my logical side. So, I guess I'll just have to run with community theater when I get back from japan, or maybe see what would be possible over there. It's not movie stardom, but, you know, I guess sometimes people need to learn they should be satisfied with what is attainable, which is something I've always patently refused to do.
You know people, I'm just going to come out and warn you right now: I am in a really ugh mood lately. I feel like my life has no direction and is just empty, and I don't want to go out and interact with people, and I don't want to do anything, I just want to wallow and feel horrible, and so I'm sorry if we go out and do something and I'm not very excited, or I seem somewhere else. I have been like this since I got back from hawaii and i thought it would go away and it really hasn't, so at this point i guess I'm going to have to deal with it somehow, but since I just don't feel like doing anything, getting the inertia to change will be difficult.I guess I just need something to throw myself into, I mean, I've just always had something going on that I could point to and work and focus on, be it college or extracurricular stuff, and I don't have that right now, and so it feels like a part of me is just empty and gone, and I don't know what to fill it up with, and I'm afraid that there won't be anything for the next two months, and that's a horrible feeling.
So today I woke up at 915 or so to go see X2 at the Uptown. For those of you who haven't been to the Uptown, it's only like the coolest theater in DC, a place whose idea of a theater is a 6x10 screen in front of 50 uncomfortable seats. Anyway, first of all, the sequel is wayyyy better than the original in terms of just about everything. I was kinda whatever about the first movie, but this one was enjoyable. However, after seeing it, I just keep thinking how cool it would be to have mutant powers or something like that. I mean, I know that there would be the whole issue of social stigma, but I think it would be totally worth it in terms of the benefits. I mean, heck, even the characters who seem almost inhuman would be really cool, with teleportation, blue skin and whatnot. I mean, it would just be neat.
btw, did anyone else find it amusing that in the movie, at one point Mystique makes herself into the real life Rebecca Romaijn-Stamos? I found that amusing.
